On a Thousand Island Just Like These

So I've been pretty introspective since my return to the Seattle area at the end of April. I'm trying to cope with the change of scenery, even if it was only a three month or so stay; everything here seems so distantly familiar. I understand it all, but it doesn't have the same feel it had before I left. My initial take after coming back and seeing what I had once thought I enjoyed, was nothing more than a urban mess. I love Portland because it's a city that feels like a city, but Seattle is and feels like a city.
I soon opted for bicycling or commuter buses for going to work to avoid Aurora and the (sub)urban mess it brings. I see most of Lynnwood and the area I live now, minus some niches, as an extension of Seattle's arm. I felt discomfort as I stared outside the window, or walked along the street. It's just not the same anymore.
This being said, however, mainly applies to Seattle south of Lake Union (minus Magnolia or possibly West Seattle) as being the epicenter of this. Through biking, and some recollection, I can say most of the neighborhoods north of Lake Union (minus most of the area around Aurora) as being fairly decent and enjoyable. I wonder if it's really the styling of the neighborhoods, or if it's just that I don't know them as well as the others (except the U-District). I do have a desire to maybe leisure myself around them in my free time. Though on the whole that's as much as I can say about Seattle.
Physically, I am pleased at being of close proximity to the waterfront, and looking at still snow-capped mountains in most directions. This aesthetically pleases me. I commonly peak a gander at the Olympics to the west while biking,
The suburbs will always be the same. Minus the parks, and the quaintness of downtown Edmonds, there really isn't too much to enjoy. Though, I must say, I did find myself really enjoying what I saw of Issaquah even though it's also a bedroom community. Same applies with most of others east of Bellevue and the shores of Lake Washington.
When I do start teaching I want to do so in the Northwest most likely, but the ideas of living inside Seattle or anywhere in the Urban Corridor really does not appeal to me. I could live in Portland and the area, somewhere east of Bellevue, or maybe somewhere on either the Kitsap or Olympic peninsulas.

Work is pretty the same. I do not like the cliques that had/were molded before I left, and they're some people I could use less time with, but pretty much the same. I've basically come to terms with the fact that I probably won't ever fit into these cliques ever; I'm too far removed from their spheres emotionally, physically (distance wise), and personality wise. I think I kinda hurt myself by thinking I could just jump back in socially, and such, but it definitely backfired on me, and now I basically don't care. I've lost/gave up on most social aspects of the job, and now it's a job to pay the bills. But at the same time I don't intend to recluse myself from my co-workers; I won't come to them as much (or at all) about social stuff, but I won't isolate them from conversation of interest of having fun on the job.

At the same time of all this, I introspect upon myself. This mainly coming from the progress of trying to obtain financial aid needed for college. I can't help but comparing it to my situation two years ago, but this time the stakes are much higher.
I'm already super determined to attend college, since it's really the only option I have towards reaching my career goal. I believe I've detailed this portion enough though.
Another implication it has this time is health insurance; attending school this fall is pretty much the only way for me to get my factor necessary to stay healthy. I've already been fighting this issue for months prior to this, but now it has come into the fold. And I think I can let it be said, I need my factor, I've been skating on thin ice for far too long now.
The final implication is strictly personal; as detailed above, I love Portland, and I can say I don't really have a current desire to stick in the area much longer then I have to. Also, Portland is currently a gathering point for several super important people to me. And in some aspects, failing might mean losing that place they hold in my life.
I've chosen all my classes. Paid my housing deposit and filled out the application for it. All I need is the monetary permission to attend.

I don't think I'm coming back to Seattle next summer. I don't really want to. I'll be 21 by then, and if I get a decent job during the school year I'll just save up for living somewhere for the summer and maybe into the following school year. I do want to enjoy the northwest, but I don't think I can do it here.